


Bound Together: Opal AU

by Mystic_Diamond



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Crystal Gems (Steven Universe), Developing Relationship, F/F, Falling In Love, Homeworld Hierarchy (Steven Universe), Homeworld is Horrible, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-08-13 19:41:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7983790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystic_Diamond/pseuds/Mystic_Diamond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At first, Opal was merely another jab at Homeworld's society, angering Blue Diamond with only her presence. But what Pearl and Amethyst eventually learn that fusions between two different Gems is just as chaotic internally as it is externally. But no matter how many problems the couple face and harm the bond Opal represents, they are determined to be there for each other, even when all of Homeworld is against them. All they have to is remember to breathe as their thoughts fly pass them and there's nothing to fear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Forbidden Bond

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.

That was a massive understatement, Amethyst realized as the wind whistled against her face, whipping her wild hair back, blurring her vision as she tumbled off the edge of the Cloud Arena, with a Pearl in tow, who surprisingly was a lot calmer about the situation than the Quartz was. Amethyst was trained for stressful situations during combat and yet here she was, shrieking at the top of her nonexistent lungs as she and the Pearl plunged towards bleak nothingness.

Or perhaps there really was something beneath the Cloud Arena, but it wouldn’t matter, because either way, Amethyst and the Pearl would be utterly shattered by the impact.

She thought back to how the rare Sapphire Blue Diamond ordered to come to the incomplete Earth colony predicted today’s events. 

It was supposed to go as followed: the Crystal Gems would attack the Cloud Arena to target Blue Diamond, who had recently gained control after the beloved Pink Diamond lost her life, and would end up poofing seven Gems, no true casualty in the long run, and would get cornered eventually. The Rebellion was supposed to stop right then and there, order would return to Homeworld, and the murderer of Pink Diamond would be captured and sent to justice.

But everything went so utterly wrong and it may be because of Amethyst herself.

Despite the harsh wind blowing loose strands of hair in Amethyst’s face and blinding her, she could still make out the faint silhouette of the lovely, lithe Pearl she had attempted to save during the attack. Now that the two of them were tumbling to their deaths, Amethyst began to hastily wonder why she tried to do what she did earlier.

The Pearl belonged to a Chalcedony, one of the elder Quartzes in Blue Diamond’s squadron who vehemently hated Amethyst with a passion, ever since she popped out one of Earth’s last few functioning Kindergartens before the Crystal Gems had overtaken them and shut them down. For a few brief moments, Amethyst had belonged to Pink Diamond, whom she hardly knew, but then she was immediately transferred to Blue Diamond after the tragedy occurred. The Kindergartners were incredibly wary of her, seeing how defective Amethyst was, lacking the extreme height most Gems of her kind possessed. It was at Pink Diamond’s insistence that she lived, but then . . . it happened. After that, Amethyst was sure that she would be shattered, knowing that she certainly didn’t fit any the right requirements that true Quartzes needed. But when it was heard that the Crystal Gems intended to shut down all the functioning Kindergartens and start a war, Blue Diamond had reluctantly decided to keep the imperfect Amethyst for the sake of troops and to respect her dead sister’s wishes.

Chalcedony had deeply disagreed with this notion and made sure that Amethyst knew it as well.

She treated Amethyst a lot more roughly than her other, taller and heftier sisters, all to remind her of the limits she had since she came out wrong. She remembered all the taunting, Chalcedony encouraging the rest of the Quartzes to turn against Amethyst, isolating her from all the other soldiers, subjecting her to such harsh words, even making the painfully incompetent Rubies look down on her. All of her cruelty made Amethyst realize how truly different she was from the others, how she would never live up the true potential of a strong Quartz. She trained incredibly hard, far harder than any of her brethren did and still ended up being the worst of the bunch.

Even though Amethyst deeply despised Chalcedony for bullying her so much when there was a war brewing, she did respect her commander’s choice in Pearls.  
Amethyst could never own a Pearl herself, even if it would quell the loneliness she faced while training. The idea of owning something that could speak and move just as she would makes her flinch. Plus, it would be impractical for a soldier to own a Pearl, who was known for their fragility and elegance.

And yet she saw her powerful and menacing commander carry her gentle servant everywhere she went, to show off what the Diamonds had rewarded her after thousands of years in service.

Chalcedony’s Pearl was lithe and willowy like all the other Pearls, carrying a frame that boasted of passiveness and beauty. She, like her master, was decorated with pastel colors and lightly shimmered with pristineness. Amethyst saw her constantly, standing in the corner, desperately waiting for her master’s command. She always admired how lovely she looked, the aura of demure grace that surrounded her every move. 

But unlike most Pearls, who were hardly more than empty shells when it came to aspects like personality, this Pearl was constantly flustered and fearful. She was prone to blushing deeply, which revealed her cheeks became a deep turquoise when she was bashful, and fidgeting when she clasped her hands together. She, like Amethyst herself, was afraid of getting shattered early and deeply feared Chalcedony’s wrath.

It didn’t take long for Amethyst to take pity on her commander’s Pearl and made an extra effort to be kind to her when the two of them crossed paths. Pick up objects that she dropped when the Pearl became nervous (which was often), shoot her gentle smiles when no one was looking, defending her when the other Quartzes poked fun at her anxious nature. The two of them never spoke though, since that would only land Amethyst in trouble and made her one step closer to getting shattered or harvested or made useful in another way rather than being herself. But Amethyst still admired her from afar, pitying her when her master began to shout at her, deeply wishing to have a real conversation with her, since she too knew what it felt like to be imperfect.

Well, Amethyst’s wish was granted. She did get intimate with the Pearl, but not in a way that benefited her.

Rose Quartz, the one who murdered Pink Diamond, had arrived on the scene like Sapphire had promised, accompanied by a rogue Bismuth who morphed her hands into blades to create weapons and ordered Blue Diamond to surrender.

The Quartz armies surged forwards in an attempt to ward off these rebels and keep their Diamond safe but the Bismuth proved herself to be quite formidable in battle, which was both a shock, considering Gems like her were made to build spires and arenas, and sort of an obvious revelation, seeing that she was just as strong and durable as them. She sliced through soldiers with an almost gleeful smile, like she was waiting for such a moment since forever, and she might’ve been for all Amethyst knew.

The purple Gem herself was very close to suffering the same fate as the others, but sheer luck pushed her away from harm. But while Chalcedony was attempting to corner Rose Quartz (and from what Amethyst could see, failing) she left her Pearl in open air, utterly defenseless and unarmed. Bismuth approached her quickly, brandishing her lethal hands, ready to destroy this Pearl’s physical form.

It disgusted Amethyst deeply, seeing the sight. What kind of fighter would attack a helpless civilian—a Pearl for crying out loud—and try to harm her? For everyone else, seeing this would worry no one, since it was only the well-being of a Pearl, who was known to be quite easy to replace. But it worried Amethyst, certainly more than Chalcedony would be, because even if the two of them were never able to converse properly, she considered this Pearl to be the only one who understood her, who never attempted to ostracize her from the rest, who didn’t think of her as a disappointment.

Anger seethed from deep inside Amethyst, until she couldn’t take lying on the floor helplessly anymore. She gathered up all her strength to get up and lunged towards the Pearl, intending to push her out of harm’s way, but ended up colliding against her for too long. She felt a hot flash of light engulf her, the startled gasp of the Pearl she was trying to save, and opened her eyes to a whole new field of vision.

In the middle of the Arena, replacing the defective Amethyst warrior and delicate Pearl, was a Gem no one had ever witnessed before.

She was at least a full head taller than proper Quartz, with skin that was a few shades lighter than Amethyst’s and wide round eyes that were the same cyan color as the Pearl’s. Four slender arms stretched out in the still air. Thick wispy hair that was just as messy and untamed as Amethyst’s combined itself with the short bangs of the Pearl’s; her tresses were messily streaked with pale peach and silvery lavender that shimmered with translucent highlights, making an almost abstract piece of art. She had the plump lips of Amethyst’s and the prominent nose that was a signature trademark of a Pearl. Her clothes were a haphazard collision of a soldier’s uniform and a frilly tutu of a decorative Pearl’s. 

The new Gem widened her eyes when she saw what she had become, muttering in a voice that sounded so different from Amethyst’s husky voice and Pearl’s nearly inaudible lull. Pearl’s oval gem was placed on her forehead, as was Amethyst’s gem on her chest, but the two of were now different gems entirely. They were now streaked with varying pastel colors.

Such a union was supposed to be impossible. No one had ever predicted this before or even bothered to see if it was possible. It was disgusting; a bond between a Quartz soldier and a fragile Pearl? Worst, the Pearl belonged to another Gem. Not only it was utter blasphemy against everything fusion was, it was violation of a Gem’s property.

Amethyst had soiled her commander’s belonging and disregarded the Pearl’s consent and forced her to become this . . . horrid being.  
Rose Quartz had halted the battle to stare at the new being, alongside her companion. Bismuth nearly lunged forward again in an attack, but was stopped by her general.

“Wait, this is,” she began to say, but was interrupted by the fierce stares of the court of Blue Diamond. “Let’s go,” she whispered and with a rush of air, she and her companion disappeared without a trace.

The cross-type Gem quickly defused after realizing what her existence had done and with a warped twist of light, Amethyst and Chalcedony’s Pearl were sprawled on the floor of the Arena. 

The first one to approach the two of them was the very same Sapphire who tried to predict today’s battle.

“Y-you,” she stuttered, which was so unprecedented for such a composed Gem. “You changed by prediction. You altered fate entirely.”

She did not wear a look of contempt, nor did she wear a look of anger, only shock, confusion, and if one looked a little closer, curiosity.

But her words were drowned out by the words of rage and spite of the conservative aristocratic Gems.

Amethyst heard words, such as “Unbelievable!” and “Disgusting!” which she had heard all too many times before, but now they were targeted at the Pearl she tried to defend earlier. The Pearl was curled up on the floor, flabbergasted and shell-shocked. Pearls weren’t supposed to able to fuse; it was something unnecessary for trinket-like Gems such as her. The look in her eyes could only be described as traumatized.

Amethyst was just as startled as well. Quartzes were believed to be too strong for fusions and deemed too superior for such a tactic. That was her first experience fusing, and admittedly, it felt amazing for such a short frame of time. She spent her whole life feeling so diminutive and weak compared to everyone else, and for a moment, pure power was surging through her form, sent her towering above the rest. 

It was a feeling that was utterly addictive.

But it didn’t seem that way for the Pearl, who had tears forming at the edges of her eyes. Amethyst followed her pale gaze to see Blue Diamond staring at the two them, a burning glare manifesting underneath her hood. Chalcedony had also found herself in between her Pearl and Amethyst, shooting icy daggers at her inferior.

“What has happened here?” Blue Diamond cried, both outraged and unnervingly calm at the same time.

“I’ll tell you what happened,” Chalcedony shouted furiously. She roughly grabbed Amethyst’s hand, nearly dangling her in the air. “She had soiled my property and created . . . a disgusting creature!”

“She wasn’t disgusting!” Amethyst snapped, realizing too late that those were the wrong words to say. The harsh collective stares surrounding her hardened.

“I didn’t know what you created when you fused with that Pearl,” Blue Diamond seethed, no mercy whatsoever in her voice. “But all I know is that I have been holding back trying to get rid of you ever since you landed in my control. I’ve given you chance after chance to prove that you just as worthy as the rest of your perfect sisters, but you have disappointed me every time. And now after you heinously marred your superior’s Pearl, I have no choice you but to break you!”

Amethyst’s eyes immediately dilated. She hadn’t expected such a harsh punishment after doing something that felt so thrilling. But hadn’t she been waiting for this day to happen? She could never keep up with the rest of the “pristine” Quartzes and certainly never had a single victory in her life. Even if she had never expressed it until now, Blue Diamond held nothing but contempt for Amethyst and was simply idly waiting for an excuse to be rid of her.

Such a fate was inevitable for Amethyst. She couldn’t escape it. All she could do at this point was accept this as her final resting place.

Just as the crowd as about to get their hands on her gem, a light smooth hand grasped Amethyst’s hand and yanked her away from the crowd, dragging her at an almost immeasurable speed.

Her vision focused to see the Pearl she had tainted pulling her away and she was absolutely shocked as the rest of the crowd, seeing a Pearl defy orders and showing regard for someone who wasn’t her master.

“What are you doing?” Amethyst cried, as the Pearl kept racing away from the enraged crowds.

Suddenly, it was clear to where the Pearl was headed: the edge of the Arena, where no one would dare follow them.

Before Amethyst could warn her against it, try to reason with the Pearl, the two of them were forced off the ledge and sent spiraling towards the ground.

She had no idea why the Pearl would risk herself this way. She was in the clear while Amethyst was being punished. Her master might’ve been angry with her, seeing now that her once-pure servant was now tainted with the experience of being that . . . thing . . . but Amethyst was the one who forced it on her. She deserved no pity from the Pearl. She should’ve just let fate take its course. It was what Amethyst expected from her life. It was inevitable.

But then again, the Rebellion ending should’ve been inevitable, as declared by the Sapphire. So what was fate anymore?

“Please grab onto my hand!” the Pearl shouted against the sharp whistle of the wind, attempting to reach for Amethyst. That marked the first time Amethyst had ever heard the servant speak, at least audibly. Her voice was undoubtedly pleasant, even when she was shrieking hysterically. 

“No, after what happened,” Amethyst cried back, “how could you ever trust me to touch you again!? I’m not letting myself hurt you anymore!”

“I don’t blame you for what happened,” the Pearl yelped as they plunged towards the ground faster and faster. “I don’t think anyone can explain what happened between us. But that’s not important right now! Just hold onto my hand and trust me!”

Amethyst gulped before making her decision. This Pearl was so gentle, so pure, and she had ended up ruining her life and severing the connection between her and her master. How could she—or anyone really—try to risk everything for her, especially when her life was oh-so-delicate beforehand?

But she couldn’t deny the pleading look in her eyes. So without hesitating, the purple Gem latched onto the Pearl’s smooth hand, intertwining fingers.

Pearl sucked in a deep breath before taking action. With a little yelp, the speed that was dragging down both her and Amethyst began to slow down and down until the two of them were merely hovering as their feet reached the grassy soft earth.

Staring at her with wide eyes, at her mundane but somehow brilliant savior who rescued her from an inevitable death for who-knows-why, Amethyst asked Pearl, “What were you thinking?”


	2. Something Entirely New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where did we go . . . what did we do?

Pearl’s dainty teeth dug into her bottom lip as she struggled to make eye contact with Amethyst.

The question she asked was truly a dire one: _Why had she done that?_

She remembered being taught as a Pearl, she had no liberty of being called a true Gem and was considered the lowest life-form inhabiting Homeworld, enough that being called property was the closest thing to true respect. In fact, the only thing Pearls were allowed to pride themselves upon is who they belong to, as their masters would often dress them up and uses them to brag to their subordinates.

But Pearl also remembered her master Chalcedony ranting about the Amethyst before her, how she did not fit the standards of true Quartz nor did she fit the standards of any rightful Gem. During an especially heated moment, Chalcedony outright shouted that Pink Diamond was a weak leader for keeping Amethyst out of pity.

Desecrating the name of a Diamond—especially one who had fallen—was punishable by shattering. But of course, the only to witness her master saying such was Pearl herself and the word of a Pearl, unless vouched by her owner, was utterly meaningless.

Pearl might’ve been nothing more than a plaything of a high-ranking commander, but she was made absolutely perfect, unlike Amethyst.

Who was truly lower was a question Pearl often pondered cycle after cycle.

It would be illegal for her to form a bond with anyone else besides her master but Pearl constantly felt a twinge of pity whenever Amethyst passed her and shockingly, it almost made her feel like she and her were equals. Both of them didn’t qualify as Gems in the Diamond Authority’s eyes. Both of them lived in fear of Chalcedony. Both waited for the day when their life would be cut short.

Even though Pearl wouldn’t be punished for the . . . incident . . . she would still end up getting shattered early, once the dreaded new batch of Pearls arrive and her master decides she is bored with her new model.

It wouldn’t matter if Pearl disappeared or not.

“Well?” Amethyst cried, eyes bulging. “Why out of everyone in that Arena would you care about me?”

Pearl’s cheeks turned a deep shade of blue, which bothered her immensely because this was in fact the first time she has ever spoken to the Amethyst she had watched from afar for many years.

“I-I didn’t understand w-why Blue Diamond would ever waste you like that! It wasn’t right; you’re valuable Quartz and she was wrong for throwing you away in the midst of a war!”

Amethyst grew even more flabbergasted and at that point, Pearl feared the former soldier might be sickened by her. “Have you looked at me?” she cried, motioning towards her diminutive form. “She was practically waiting for me to mess up so she would have the chance to get rid of me, war or no war! I would never be able to please her anyways. You threw away your life for a complete stranger!”

“It’s not like it would’ve been a long one,” Pearl mumbled under her breath. “I would have been thrown away at some point, too.”

A moment of silence passed before Amethyst spoke again.

“If you were my Pearl, I wouldn’t dream of throwing you away.”

Those words sent another blush crawling up Pearl’s cheeks. “You clearly know nothing about owning someone like me,” she said in a desperate attempt to preserve her dignity.

Suddenly, the conversation was cut short by a low rumbling sound that was unfamiliar to both Pearl and Amethyst. Before they knew it, fat droplets of water began to rain down from above and soaked the abandoned Gems.

The too-late revelation finally occurred to the now runaways: they were now stranded on Earth, a planet they hardly knew, with nobody but each other to keep them company.

Somehow, the idea didn’t disgust Pearl as much as it should’ve.

“We have to get out of here,” Amethyst concluded and without a moment’s hesitation, latched onto Pearl’s arm, dragging her away from the storm above them.

The Quartz didn’t seem to notice but Pearl realized it rather alarmingly: their fingers were entwined. She thought back to the last intimate touch she shared with Chalcedony and realized that her old master touches were possessive and fierce, almost enough to make Pearl flinch thinking back to it.

Touching Amethyst should have been scandalous but instead it filled Pearl with a warm feeling that for once didn’t overwhelm her like it did with Chalcedony.

The Quartz found a cave to shield them from the raging outside environment.

“This should keep us safe,” she mumbled as she let Pearl sit on the hard stone floor of the harsh forest.

“Thank you,” Pearl said in relief, knowing that Amethyst didn’t resent her as much as she thought previously.

The purple Gem’s eyes widened immensely when she saw the frail servant smile for the first time, almost gaping at the sight. Pearls hardly made expressed emotion on their face and when they did, it was a fake placid smile that sent shivers down Amethyst’s spine. But this particular Pearl’s smile was so genuine, so trusting. It was the most beautiful thing Amethyst saw.

“A-are you okay?” Pearl asked, and was when Amethyst realized she had stared for too long.

“I’m fine,” the former soldier replied nervously and silently scolded herself for being so entranced by a Pearl who wasn’t even her own.

It took a while, but Pearl and Amethyst managed to make a fire to warm them—well actually, it was only for the light, since Gems didn’t need heat to survive. Amethyst surprisingly felt accomplished for once, without the other Quartzes she trained with, it was easy to feel proud of herself. There was no one to compare herself to and no one to belittle her.

“What are we going to do now?” Pearl said as she hugged her knees closer to her chest. “We’re cut off from Homeworld and I’m without a master, which is perhaps the most preposterous thing to occur ever besides that fusion we—“

“How are you so comfortable with talking about that?” Amethyst interrupted her. “I mean, it was the craziest thing that ever happened to me and it also cost us our home if you haven’t noticed!”

“Isn’t fusion something soldiers done constantly?” Pearl asked innocently, genuinely confused.

“Not for Quartzes and besides,” Amethyst blurted out. “It was kind of—for lack of a better term—intimate, don’t you think?”

Silence hovered both of them again and Amethyst regretted her words when she saw how Pearl blushed again, probably the most furious one the purple Gem had seen so far. “Well, it wasn’t your fault,” Pearl tried to begin but faltered immediately.

“Yes, it was,” Amethyst cried and started to ramble furiously. “You belonged to my commander and not only you’re a Pearl—who isn’t even allowed to fuse—I’m a defective Gem! I bet the reason that fusion was so crazy-looking was because of me! How are you even looking me in the eye after I—“

Pearl’s meek voice suddenly raised a few octaves to interrupt Amethyst’s self-deprecating rant. “ _I liked being fused with you!_ ”

Suffocating silence overtook them once more as Amethyst gaped at Pearl for the second time.

“I-it made me feel something I haven’t felt before, you know,” the white Gem tried to awkwardly explain herself. “I was never supposed to experience fusion but it felt really good for that little moment—I’m so sorry, was that wrong for me to say that?” She burst out laughing for a split second. “This is really awkward, isn’t it?” she finally admitted.

Amethyst nodded in response, chuckling along with her. The blush made itself present on her cheeks again but for once, she didn’t mind.

* * *

Eventually, the sun rose again and made the previously darkened sky come alive with color and light. Amethyst and Pearl crawled out of the cave to witness a brightened sunrise, the first they ever seen, since both of their lives have been spent inside either cramped training Arenas or overwhelmingly crowded Spires. The sunlight stretched over the blossoming meadows and found itself blinding Amethyst’s eyes, but not in a bothersome way.

It was beautiful, they both decided.

It was new and different and something they had never seen before.

And lately, Amethyst decided that different did not equal entirely bad. Pearl stumbled over her words and expressed genuine emotion, unlike her more graceful and stoic sisters. If she could be pleasant to be around, then perhaps Amethyst wasn’t that disturbing either.

_Where did we go, what did we do? I think we made something entirely new._

The forest flourished with life, something both Pearl and Amethyst never realized were beautiful before. While crawling underneath a low-hanging tree branch, a delicate butterfly landed on her fingers, fluttering softly.

_And it wasn’t quite me and it wasn’t quite you, I think it was something entirely new._

Amethyst thought it was just like Pearl herself, vibrant but still elegant. When the creature fluttered away, the purple Gem nearly sprinted after it, but found it sandwiched between the warty lips of a green frog. The butterfly escaped thankfully, but the soldier found more interest in the ugly frog than the delicate butterfly. It reminded her of her, deformed but still functioning.

Pearl agreed with that notion.

_Oh um, well I can’t stop thinking._

The two of them found themselves underneath a glittering blanket of stars, trying to start another conversation.

_So um, did you say I was different?_

Neither of them has had any fusing experience before but the two of them could agree it wasn’t something that was recorded on Homeworld, let alone allowed.

_And you haven’t before?_

_Of course not, when would I have ever?_

That was already established a long time ago.

_I’m so sorry._

Amethyst could never stop apologizing to Pearl, no matter how unnecessary. She hadn’t asked for her to save her, to accompany her in her exile, to give up everything she had for someone like her.

_No, no don’t be._

Pearl didn’t know why Amethyst felt sorry for her. It wasn’t like her life before was entirely ideal. If anything, being exiled was better than being under Chalcedony’s command.

_And now you’re here forever!_

Their situation was irreversible; it was likely that Blue Diamond is now out for their blood, with Chalcedony eagerly by her side.

_What about you?_

_What about me?_

_Well, you’re here, too. We’re here together._

That notion was also undeniable. And Amethyst couldn’t never imagine saying that Pearl’s company wasn’t enjoyable.

She didn’t deserve this. Neither did Pearl.

The two of them took each other’s hands, not sure of what to do just yet. Fusing on the battlefield always felt militaristic and uptight, certainly not ideal in this kind of environment. Besides, the idea of Amethyst hollering a battle cry as she climbed up on Pearl’s frail shoulders was too ridiculous to be taken seriously.

Instead the two entwined fingers again like before, ever so intimately, and Amethyst clutched onto Pearl’s waist with her other arm. The first few steps they took were awkward and stilted, but after everything fell into place, Pearl and Amethyst were synchronized together, knowing each other’s movements and falling into a certain routine that felt comfortable.

Pearl seized Amethyst by the waist, taking her by surprise, but in a pleasant way, and the miniature soldier smiled brightly, not ashamed of her size for once if meant being in Pearl’s arms like this.

It felt right.

Pearl grinned broadly in a goofy but still beautiful way and twirled the Gem in her arms, knowing exactly what was going to happen next but not scared of it.

There was no one around to scold or judge.

Emerging from a sheath of light, alone but not entirely alone, was the forbidden fusion making herself known again.

Opal was the name that resonated deep within her.

She was reborn, she was alive, she was . . . completely lost.


	3. Scattered Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Opal begins to learn what it means to be a Crystal Gem.

With wide crystal blue eyes, Opal stretched out her arms and was alarmed to count four of them.

_Is this supposed to be normal?_

But then again, was anything about Opal normal? Thinking back to it, she struggled to remember what that word even meant. But she knew being “normal” was something that Amethyst and Pearl wanted to be but couldn’t.

_Wait, what did those names mean again?_

It was hard enough to keep her thoughts focused on one thing at a time. Thoughts swarmed around her, distracting her from what was important. But was anything important? It wasn’t like Opal was here for a practical purpose. She only here because of . . .

Opal lost track of that as well.

Clenching her teeth, she reached one of her lower hands and found her fingers clutching a round gemstone on her chest, splayed with color. One of her upper hands found itself caressing an oval gem on her forehead.

_Hello there, Amethyst and Pearl._

She didn’t know why she was introducing herself to them. It wasn’t like she didn’t know them—she did . . . right? Well, she was them . . . isn’t she? It certainly didn’t feel like it.

There were a few things she did know about them. Like that Pearl begins to flinch if she finds one thing out of place—the crushing disappointment her master eyes betrayed when things aren’t up to par absolutely broke Pearl on the inside.

But Opal didn’t truly know Pearl’s old master. She never had one glimpse of the Gem. And somehow, thinking about her immediately sends waves of disdain and anger through her. She felt that she needed to despise this Gem—even if that felt unreasonable for a complete stranger.

Swallowing back a gulp, Opal took a step forward. She was so tall that she was afraid that her hair would get ensnared in the overhanging tree branches that had rather threatening thorns. Opal knew what it was like to have hair get caught on random objects and the fury of finding strands left all over it—wait, that never happened to Opal before. It was a feeling only Amethyst knew and Opal felt like she needed to feel since she was supposed to half of her.

_Stars, what am I supposed to feel?_

Another step forward, another step; walking was supposed to be a primitive instinct, something even organic creatures mastered when they were young. But for Opal, the knowledge of how to walk properly seemed to flicker on and off, like one moment, she might be able to remember it, the next, she was back on the ground. After a couple of tentative steps, the strange new Gem found herself walking just as gracefully as she—um, as a Pearl—should be.

Pearl remembered having to be light and airy with every step she took—Opal wasn’t sure if the same should apply to her. If only she could ask someone about how she was supposed to be. But as far as Pearl, Amethyst, and Opal knew, she was the only one of her kind.

Both Pearl and Amethyst learned everything they needed to know from Gems who had to train them how to dance and serve or combat and defend, all the other basic knowledge came rather instinctually. But Opal did not have the blessing of instinct; part of her could tell her how to pirouette, and the other part could tell her how to put someone in a headlock. She didn’t know which one would tell her why she was here.

Memories would be within Opal’s reach but then slip through her fingers at the last moment, leaving her desperate to reach out for more. No matter what she did, Opal’s presence remained feeling empty and purposeless.

She remembered that Pearl and Amethyst both served purposes. But while Pearl could find little comfort in cleaning and dancing, she enjoyed none of it if it meant serving her old master. Amethyst loved the thrill of fighting, the punches being thrown, her whip slashing against her opponents—it was a whip, right?—but all those around her refused to let her enjoy it, isolating her and insisting that no matter what she did to improve herself, she would always remain at the bottom. It almost caused Amethyst to despise combat if she knew that she would always fail.

So perhaps Opal can find herself something that would make both of them happy.

She was so lost in thought that she didn’t notice that her foot didn’t touch any ground, and when she finally did, it was too late.

Soon enough, Opal tumbled down off a grassy drop and ended up sprawled at the bottom in a tangled pile of arms and legs. Groaning with the newfound sensation of pain, Opal struggled to open her eyes. Once her vision focused, a sharp lilac blade that didn’t resemble any metal Opal—or Amethyst once again—had ever seen before appeared alarmingly close to her nose.

Immediately, she threw her head back in surprise in order not to make contact with the blade and whimpered slightly before crying out, “Don’t hurt her—I mean—don’t . . . hurt . . . me?”

Calling herself “me” was a whole new sensation as well; just as sharp as the pain she went through when she fell down the hill.

Her pale blue gaze directed itself upwards to make contact with a pair of nearly coal-black eyes, hardened with determination. A bulky Gem, just as muscular as Opal—Amethyst?—recognized as the stature of a true Quartz soldier. But judging from the multi-colored gemstone that jutted inwards on the Gem’s chest, this wasn’t Quartz, which Opal realized when she saw that the Gem’s hands were morphed into blades.

No respectable Quartz would ever stoop so low to do that.

Scattered memories brought Opal back to seeing the warrior slice through several elite Gems without a single ounce of mercy. This Gem—Bismuth, Opal was forced to correct herself—was meant for constructing Spires and Arenas but decided that mercilessly tearing apart the physical forms of elite Gems felt more precise for her. Opal herself was half an elite Gem and half the property of an elite Gem.

For once, she knew exactly what to feel: afraid.

“It’s you,” Bismuth whispered in awe, so unlike the harsh voice Opal expected from a killer like her, “The fusion.”

Fusion: that was the word to describe what Opal was. The word had nearly escaped from her grasp a few moments earlier if it wasn’t for Bismuth reminding her.

“We didn’t mean to fuse!” Opal blurted out, part of her wanting to hide what she has done, what it was exactly was beyond her. “I mean . . . we did this time . . . but we’ll defuse if that’s what you want . . .”

It felt like two voices were spilling out of her throat. She didn’t know what to do or what to say. All she could do was gape.

“No, no . . . it’s okay,” a soothing voice interrupted them. Appearing out of the shadows was the infamous Rose Quartz in all her glory.

Opal’s scrambled memories knew her by several names: the spear-header of the Rebellion, a famed general turned rogue, a horrible murderer . . . Opal blanched in surprise at how harsh that last thought was. For a moment, her vision warped again, and Rose’s harmless smile nearly looked sinister, but then it vanished quickly, like a trick of the light.

There were too many things to say right now. Part of her felt like running away, the other felt like attacking. Eventually Opal found herself the right words to start with. “I don’t upset you?” she asked in surprise, nearly a whisper.

More recollections surface and she remember the very brief time when she first formed. She was surrounded by hate, contempt, confusion, and horror. It was so strange to find someone who didn’t abhor her very existence, let alone who she was made of.

“Who care about how I feel?” Rose Quartz replied, in a voice that wasn’t very fitting of a rogue Gem who committed regicide. “How you feel is bound to be more interesting.”

For perhaps the hundredth time today, Opal was confused. “How I feel?” she stuttered, clutching her head. “I feel lost . . . and scared . . . but happy. Why I am so sure that I want to be this way . . . instead of everything I was supposed to be and everything I wanted to be before?”

Instead of a coherent response, Rose only chuckled. “Welcome to Earth.”

Suddenly, Opal sprung to her feet, realizing that she was actually a full head taller than Rose Quartz. “Can you tell me? Why would Amethyst sacrifice everything she knows for a Pearl who isn’t even hers? Why would Pearl stay with the Gem who took away her innocence? Why out of everything that happened, do I want to stay like this?”

“Stop,” Rose chuckled, taking Opal’s lower hands in hers. “Don’t ever question this. You already are the answer.” Opal was hesitant to accept Rose and her help.

Something about her felt so . . . off. A part of her wanted to strangle her right then and there, even if she was the first person not to be alarmed or disturbed by her presence. The other part of her wanted to cling onto this little hope she has provided her, the feeling of being accepted being so unfamiliar.

_She’s our savior._

_She’s a murderer._

Opal could no longer discern the little voices in her head. Instead she decides to go with Rose Quartz, the first one to think she is beautiful, not heinous and disgusting. Rose smiled brightly and told her of all the things the Crystal Gems will provide for Opal and Bismuth happily accepted the new fusion into the group as well, never denying Rose’s word.

For a moment, everything felt right and promised hope.

But before leaving the forest, Opal swore she saw a flicker of white amongst the flowering bushes.

A little glowing butterfly dissolving in the wind until it faded away from Opal’s vision.


	4. Dissolving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bond that holds Opal together proves to be a lot more delicate than previously thought.

Every Gem was made for a purpose.

When one was not suitable for their determined purpose, they were harvested and made of use through other means.

The Crystal Gems had a purpose as well, but one far more abstract and varied than the roles placed upon Homeworld Gems. They all served one cause: to protect all life on Earth, no matter how incomprehensible or strange. But each and every Gem had the option of choosing which path to go down. Most Crystal Gems chose to fight, since that was what they needed most, but when asked, the Crystal Gems simply said that it was the one thing they were forbidden from doing on Homeworld.

Each Crystal Gem knew how to fight one way or another, even if that wasn’t what they chose, because everyone needed to be able to defend themselves. And also because it was the best way to show Homeworld that the pushed down and discarded can be a threat when needed.

But there were many roles that needed to filled for the Crystal Gems: Bismuth was everyone’s personal blacksmith and crafted Rose’s famous sword herself, a couple of technicians for hacking and building, some messengers and spies, and even some peacekeepers between the Gems and the humans that kept arguments from arising.

So what would Opal be meant for?

She was a Gem no one else had ever seen before, or even knew could exist. Her two components were normally shunned on Homeworld: Amethyst for being defective and Pearl for being the trinket of a higher class Gem. If they were separated, they might end up proving themselves useless somehow.

But they weren’t separated.

Opal combined both of their skillsets to create something with potential. She possessed Amethyst’s combat instinct and knowledge with Pearl’s grace and carefulness. Rose seemed to state it the best to her.

“No one has ever seen a Gem like you before. You are the bond between two completely different Gems of completely different classes. You don’t know what that means and neither do I. But that is what makes you so useful. We have no idea what you can do or what you’re meant for. That means that you could be capable of absolutely anything. The possibilities are endless.”

But as it turns out, “endless possibilities” have proven to be more confusing than helpful. While Pearls are very efficient at taking orders and getting minimal tasks done without fail, Opal got distracted easily, usually forgotten what the objective was, and got too anxious when it came to hopelessly boring stuff. It was hard to see how a part of her seemed to like this.

Combat was supposed to be something that came naturally to Quartzes such as Amethyst, able to take up a weapon and learn how to use it in under a minute after summoning it. But everything needed to come to Opal slowly. She couldn’t access all of Amethyst’s memories and instincts quick enough and realized soon enough that she had to learn from the beginning, which no one truly had time and patience for except Rose.

“Nothing worthy ever comes easily,” Rose reassured her. “Besides, we would never allow any of our comrades be useless in any way. You have the key to many things, I know it.”

Opal’s opinion often ended up scrambled somehow thanks to how chaotic things were for her inside. One moment, she was returning Rose’s warm smile and the other; she was imaging wringing her neck out. She had no idea where such vicious thoughts came from. Accessing the right thoughts and memories was too hard of a challenge. All Opal knew was that something inside her felt like an imbalance, something that felt scattered and torn apart.

She could feel intangible voices, thoughts, and images wrestling with each other. She couldn’t see it clearly but she could definitely feel its presence. It was like a blurry image that refused to leave the back of Opal’s combined subconscious, flickering at her during the worst of times.

All of the Crystal Gems were surprisingly accepting of her to the point where Opal wondered if it was genuine. After all, every Crystal Gem seemed to be deathly loyal to Rose Quartz, who was often envisioned as the epitome of wisdom and inspiration.

_She’s not, I tell you._

_Why can’t you accept her help? We need her now. We have nowhere else to go._

_That could never excuse for what she’s done._

“Hey, snap out of it, soldier!” a voice interrupted Opal’s inner argument and the fusion looked down to see a petite Ruby, who certainly had quite the annoyed expression on her face.

“I’m not sure if ‘soldier’ is the best term to describe me,” Opal replied tentatively, afraid to provoke the Gem any further.

“It’s doesn’t matter how you label yourself as,” the red Gem snapped impatiently. “You were dazed and out of it and we can’t have that endangering us when we’re under attack. Remember: eyes on the prize.”

“Yes ma’am,” Opal responded almost robotically, even though she didn’t want it come off that way. She bit her lip immediately afterwards, silently scolding herself. What was that for?

“Um, I’m not sure what that was,” Ruby said slowly after a moment of unnerving awkwardness. “But there’s no need to call anyone that here. Bismuth would probably get mad if we were assigning subordinate names towards each other. It’s just Ruby, got that?”

Opal nodded fervently, afraid to say anything else ever again.

* * *

It took forever to finally get a moment’s peace. The Crystal Gems were a certainly boisterous crowd and silence was something almost foreign to her. Solitude would normally feel unnerving for either a Quartz or a Pearl; Quartz soldiers were almost constantly surrounded by Gems of their kind, whether on the battlefield or resting, and Pearls were made to be connected to their master’s shadow.

But Opal hardly ever felt alone when they were two voice battling in her head. It nearly gave her a splitting headache. Images flashed before her eyes, warping her vision and perception of the base before her.

Voices began to cram in her head and soon enough, she began to babble in a conversation despite being completely alone like she wanted to.

“I know Rose Quartz did something terrible and I can’t excuse her for killing a Diamond, but she has to be better than Blue Diamond, right?”

“You never knew Pink Diamond like I did. I can’t even look at Rose Quartz without . . . without . . .”

“If anyone hears about this, then we’ll lose the one chance of being accepted. What are we going to do when this planet is ravaged by war? We have to pick one side in order to survive and Homeworld isn’t ever forgiving us for what we did.”

“What, are you getting actually blaming me for being angry? I have every right to grieve over someone who kept me from being shattered early!”

“She may have spared you but that doesn’t stop her from being a member of the Diamond Authority! If she could see you now, she would have the same opinion as her sister!”

“Don’t you dare say that? You don’t know anything—“

“Hey, are you going to get up or what?”

Ruby’s familiar voice once again interrupted what could have been a mental breakdown. “Did you really think you could escape from me forever? We have combat practice and Rose is really anxious to see what Amethyst and Pearl combine!”

“Oh, um right,” Opal mumbled as she lifted herself up. She still felt disoriented and scrambled inside. She knew that she was stable but sometimes she swore that parts of her body were dissolving, almost like it was crumbling apart.

She decided it would be best to keep quiet about it, since no one else knew what she was feeling; almost everything about her existence seemed to require studying of some form. It frustrated Opal that the answers didn’t come easily to her.

 _Where were all these butterflies coming from?_ Opal thought as she witnessed another white butterfly dissipate before her eyes.


	5. Resurfaced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A startling memory comes back to haunt.

The clangs and slashes of the weapons Bismuth herself forged echoed throughout the Crystal Gem training Arena, which was once property of Homeworld but the rebels eventually took it over and converted it for their use. 

A couple of more radical Crystal Gems seemingly slashed out the pink diamond on the Diamond Authority symbol. Seeing such a desecrated symbol made Opal flinch on the inside, but she didn’t know why.

She tried to convince herself that her anger was unreasonable and came from absolutely nowhere.

She never knew Pink Diamond.

She never saw Rose Quartz shatter her.

She wasn’t even there when the Rebellion kicked into full swing.

Pearl and Amethyst were, but she wasn’t.

They weren’t her . . . right?

She was a complete collision of their personalities and memories. Parts of them surfaced at different times at the worst times. She learned that Pearl had quite crippling anxiety and had several harmful thoughts when the moment was silent. She learned that Amethyst can’t ever seemed to think of herself in a positive light, sometimes even made fun of herself in such a disturbingly lighthearted way. 

She never thought of her two halves being so damaged and self-loathing.

Perhaps that was why they chose to be this way. Maybe they gave up their individual selves because of how much they hated their individual selves. Maybe they thought Opal was somehow a better option.

But was she really a better being than either of her two halves? She was scatterbrained, ditzy, hardly ever in the moment, and an absolute confused mess inside.  
And Homeworld loathed her more than they could ever loathe Pearl or Amethyst.

Why? Why? Why?

She wished she could ask them this.

Why her? Why do this? Why hate Rose Quartz so much when it made things so difficult? Why adore Rose so much when you remember what she did?

“I bet I can whip you up an amazing weapon for you to march into combat with,” Bismuth said once she approached Opal in the Sky Arena’s seats.

“Huh? Oh right, fighting,” Opal stuttered, clasping her bottom pair of hands together as the upper pair raked through her messy hair. “Do you really think it’s the best decision to teach me how to fight? Part of me was meant to but the other part was made for more menial purposes.”

Bismuth threw her head back and laughed. “Who ever said that would ever matter? One of the things Rose told me is that Homeworld stifles us from discovering our true selves. Before ever becoming a Crystal Gem, I was stuck slaving away building structures like this and never getting enough respect for it.”

“Wait, you helped build this place?” Opal gasped.

Bismuth nodded. “I even remember putting the finishing touches on the Diamond Authority sigil right there. Felt even more satisfying when I and the rest of my crew ‘fixed it’ right after our troops captured this base.”

Opal forced herself to bite her lip when she heard those words. Bismuth had intentionally helped desecrate one of the last few reminders of Pink Diamond while Homeworld was busy eliminating the rest from history. Now it seemed that Pink Diamond hardly existed anymore. Something within Opal flinched and she had to hug herself with all four of her arms to keep herself steady.

Was she going mad at this point?

“Just let me show you a couple of spare weapons and I bet you can find the right one to battle with,” Bismuth suggested as she snatched one of Opal’s upper arms and dragged her to an impressive collection of armor and artillery.

At first, Opal assumed a whip might be suitable for her since she knew that Amethyst wielded one before and her combat instincts might finally kick in if she held something that could trigger Amethyst’s memories. But she found it so archaic and unwieldy, and kept getting her long legs get tangled in the weapon.

She then tried other things that might better for the body she possessed. Swords seemed to call to her quite immediately but part of her couldn’t keep up with all the techniques Rose tried to teach her, almost like she was refusing to listen to her. Flails weren’t very different from whips but Opal handled them the same clumsy way she did whips. Gauntlets were too complicated when she had four arms to worry about and hammers felt too heavy and brutal for her.

“Have you ever tried summoning your original weapon?” Rose asked. “I mean, Quartzes have their own personal weapon to use and part of you was made for combat.” She demonstrated by manifesting a shield around her arm. “Can you tap into your inner instincts long enough? Just let the Amethyst parts of you take the wheel for a bit.”

Opal was afraid what would happen if Amethyst took the wheel. She knew that Amethyst didn’t like Rose and might even have a good reason for it. But she simply nodded in response and cupped her hands around the gemstone on her chest. A soft glow began to manifest and it pulsed through Opal like it was a heartbeat. Just when Opal was about to plunge one her hands into the gem, suddenly she felt another warmth on her forehead.

She saw Rose’s eyes light up like stars and she followed her gaze upwards to see the gemstone on her forehead, the one that belonged to a Pearl, illuminate alongside the gem on her chest, pulsing in perfect synch.

She had no idea what to do. She was afraid that the glows might fade away if she didn’t do something quick. But what was meant to happen?

“Summon them both,” Rose whispered and it confused Opal for a bit. Only Amethyst was meant to wield a weapon. If they gave that ability to a Pearl, then utter chaos would begin. But the warmth and the pulsing was growing too great and Opal feared if she didn’t do something, she might get overwhelmed in the end.  
So she took her upper arms and cupped them around Pearl’s gem and plunged in her hands at the exact same time. When she pulled them out, one hand held a bejeweled whip and the other held a shimmering spear.

Every single of the Crystal Gems turned to stare. Not only could a fusion like Opal summon a weapon, but she proved that even her Pearl half could summon a weapon. She seemed to be filled with little miracles no one else had witnessed before.

“Carrying a spear and a whip?” Opal muttered underneath her breath. “That sounds kind of impractical, don’t you think?”

With a flourish, like all of her instincts kicked in finally, she pressed the two weapons together and merged them, creating a glittering longbow that matched her height and suited her perfectly.

Everyone in the Arena seemed to gasp at the exact same time.

“Even fusions like you have their own personal weapons,” Rose cried in awe. Opal had never seen her more alive and sparkling. It both pleased her and disgusted her. Every feeling lately seemed to contradict itself to the point where Opal herself seemed to clash. Everything inside seemed to feel like a war.

“Oh, we’re gonna need to see this in action,” Bismuth exclaimed, dragging Opal center stage as everyone gathered up eagerly.

“Are you ready?” Rose called out from the other side of the Arena, prepared with a set of targets for Opal to hit.

Opal tried her best to smile and pulled back her bowstring, seeing an arrow of light conjure out of thin air.

But when she released her arrow, Pink Diamond herself manifested right in front of her, disintegrating into dust before her eyes.


	6. Past Haunts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sapphire knows it's forbidden to do so, but how can she get such a beautiful creature such as Opal off her mind?

Lately, the forbidden fusion has been the only thing occupying Sapphire’s mind.

She knew it was dangerous, since the Diamond Authority didn’t wish for anyone to speak of the supposed “abomination” and speaking of them was punishable by harvesting, but when she was a Gem created for the sole purpose of keeping track of the road of fate, it was practically maddening for her to see someone who could completely diverge from it.

She wasn’t blamed for what happened during the Cloud Arena attack (despite several Gems gossiping about the possibility of her being a Crystal Gem spy in disguise and lying about her prediction to deter Blue Diamond) since she was after all, a rare Sapphire, and no one wished to waste one of them. She thanked the stars and back that she wasn’t punished, but she couldn’t help but think that she could’ve made a mistake back there.

But that impossible, wasn’t it? She was a Sapphire, and most of all, a Sapphire that came out with all the right circumstances and proportions, almost nigh-flawless, but saying so out loud would be arrogant.

Her predictions never failed her before. She could easily evade all harm with her quick flashes of the future and prepared herself for horrifying events that no one around wasn’t even aware of yet.

Life was incredibly easy for her.

But it was also bland.

When there were no surprises, no shocking revelations, nothing that could even make her gasp or flinch back, life as a Sapphire became almost boring. It had its perks of course, but sometimes the emotion that was supposed to felt from moments of joy sort of died down when you knew about it prior.

What was even worse was the fact that if she predicted something despair-inducing or horrifying, there was absolutely nothing she could do stop it. All she was allowed to do was report it and then prepare herself.

Sometimes, it was even hard for her interact with other Gems that weren’t Sapphires. She knew everything about them before they could utter a word and the complete predictability made her more and more moody, which in turn, gave off the impression that she was incredibly snobbish to others. Only other Gems of her kind understood her pain, but even that was rare to feel since her kind was very, very limited.

There was no one out there she could speak about this to. But even if she did come into contact with another Sapphire, it’s not like she could explain how she felt right now. A faulty prediction made her susceptible to having others believe that she might be defective. And having that would certainly lead to a road that ended in being harvested or worse, shattered, since hardly any Sapphires ever had any false predictions.

She was trusted to be able to foresee any and every kind of danger and seeing that fusion forming and completely send the predicted timeline into mayhem. That kind of experience should’ve sent her into complete madness, an absolute loss of faith in her purpose, might’ve even cause her to shatter herself if she can’t carry out her duties properly and serve her beloved Diamond.

But instead, Sapphire felt intrigued. That should’ve been a sign that she did indeed go insane from the experience. But ever since making eye contact with the fusion caused Sapphire to feel something she never ever felt before since she mastered her future vision: curiosity.

She was able to analyze something without even giving a second glance at it with her ability and had no need to study a field area when she could gain all the knowledge she could possibly ever need just by gazing into the future, but the fusion was the one thing she couldn’t even begin to fathom as real, and yet it was.

It was frightening, it was shocking, it was mind-shattering . . .

But most of all, it was absolutely beautiful to her. Everyone else saw the fusion as a disgusting, forbidden creation that needed to be doused from the mind to continue to act with rationality.

But nothing like that has ever crossed paths with Sapphire before and she craved to see something like that again.

“Sapphire, Blue Diamond requests your presence at the Sea Spire’s gathering,” a gentle, almost inaudible voice interrupted the seer’s thoughts.

She turned to see that it was Blue Diamond’s Pearl, a familiar sight to see since she was responsible for doing the mundane things a leader like Blue Diamond couldn’t be bothered with.

Even though Sapphire knew it was inappropriate to think of such things, perhaps even scandalous and offensive, she couldn’t help but compare this Pearl with the Pearl that ran away with the defective Amethyst and was one of the halves of the forbidden fusion. This Gem was indeed, a completely different being than the other Pearl, but Sapphire couldn’t but be reminded of the incident by being faced with another Pearl.

It only fueled her desire to see the fusion again even more.

There were things Blue Diamond kept from Sapphire and seeing the fusion unfold was only the tip of the iceberg.

How could she trust her superior ever again when she saw her discard one the most beautiful and intriguing things Sapphire ever saw like it was a disgrace?

“I’m coming,” Sapphire responded in a flat, expressionless voice and her superior’s servant nodded in reply.

Once all of this was over with, this was going to be the last time she ever stepped foot into a Diamond-sanctioned structure.

* * *

“What happened?”

“Are they okay?”

“Rose, is supposed to be normal?

“I’m not sure if there’s a viable answer for that.”

Those were the scattered voices Amethyst heard before she opened her eyes and realized that she was no longer an intangible component of an unexplainable enigma, but herself once again.

The freakish amount of limbs and color-splotched hair and absolute mayhem of an outfit that combined a combat suit and a gauzy dress were gone.

And Amethyst hated it.

She hated that she was no longer fierce and powerful, practically glowing with untapped potential. She hated that the intimate embrace her soul and Pearl’s soul shared (she wasn’t sure if “soul” was the right term to describe the experience, but their consciousness were certainly melded together in some form). She hated that she was back to her misshapen, imperfect self that managed to be the odd one out in a crowd of shining Amethysts.

And most of all, she hated the fact that the first face she saw since crumbling apart was the face of Rose Quartz.

“Are you okay?” Rose whispered worriedly. “I didn’t know any of that would happen. None of us did. We only wanted you to—“

“Shut up!” Amethyst shrieked and she scrambled to her feet, pushing Rose away from her, which a surprising feat was considering their height differences.

“Don’t say that!” Pearl cried, rising from the floor. When all eyes turned to her, she immediately blushed and her voice became timid. “We didn’t know what was happening either. We—I mean Opal—looked at the target and then she saw—“

“Her! She saw her!” Amethyst shouted, tears suddenly forming in her eyes.

“Who’s ‘her’?” Rose asked innocently, genuine concern in her voice.

“You know who!”

“Please, Amethyst, you’re being irrational. Let’s just talk about it . . .” Pearl said meekly, certainly lost on the whole situation.

“You don’t know what I’m going through!”

“But we promised to go through this together.”

“But you never knew her the way I knew her. None of you do.”

“What do you want me to do then?”

“I want you to leave me alone,” Amethyst growled through her teeth, and she marched away in a huff, the crowd of Crystal Gems surrounding her parting immediately when she approached.

Tears began to form in Pearl’s eyes. She never thought she would have to hear those words from _Amethyst_ of all Gems.


	7. She Will Never Understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are some situations where you just need to be alone . . .

Amethyst curled herself up into a ball as she hid away from the rest of the Crystal Gems, for once feeling grateful that she was made so much smaller than what she was supposed to be, because now, no one could possibly find her here.

She grabbed fistfuls of the silky grass beneath her as tears began to stream down her face. Over and over in her head, she kept replaying the image of Pink Diamond looking at her with wide, terrified eyes as the arrow Opal shot split into several more and sliced right through her.

Pink Diamond was the reason she was created. 

Pink Diamond was the reason she was given the chance to live. 

Pink Diamond was the reason she even bothered with becoming a warrior when she knew she would never live up her sisters.

Amethyst certainly never knew her for very long and was never in the right position to even have a proper conversation with her, but she owed everything to her. 

Stars, Pink Diamond might as well be considered a complete stranger, knowing how little she and Amethyst interacted, but she was the only one in Amethyst’s life who thought of her as a worthy enough soldier, instead of a waste of resources like all her comrades did.

And Amethyst betrayed her.

She thought back to Pink Diamond’s kind eyes, as opposed to how sharp and intimidating the other Diamonds’ eyes seemed to be, how despite the harsh angles and points her form had, she still appeared to be beautiful in an awe-inspiring, icily-gorgeous way. Her hair was voluminous and pointed upwards in spikes and had the image of the regal, trustworthy leader she was supposed to have.

There were so few moments Amethyst was able to see her in real life, instead of brief snapshots out of the corner of her eyes when her superiors were contacting her through the Diamond line. In every single one of their interactions, Pink Diamond and Amethyst never exchanged words, which made sense, since not only would that be inappropriate, Amethyst was practically considered the lowest of her kind, so speaking to her would only be a fantastic illusion.

But she was her Diamond, and Amethyst was her warrior, so that should’ve been a satisfactory enough bond.

Pink Diamond was the one who insisted Amethyst should live despite her crippling deformities and allowed her to serve in her court when no one else would dare claim her. She never spoke to her once, and most of their interactions consisted silent worship and the occasional soft smile that made Amethyst nearly dissipate her form in public. And yet she was the reason Amethyst was even here in the first place.

And now she was a Crystal Gem, part of the very force that opposed her, living underneath the very Gem who murdered her, and split herself apart from the authority who she once ruled in.

Amethyst clenched her teeth to keep herself from screaming at how stupid she was. Why did she even become a Crystal Gem in the first place?

Then she remembered: because she had feelings for Pearl.

She knew that Pearl’s role underneath the Diamond Authority was just about as worthless as hers and that neither of them would be mourned if they disappeared (and it seems to be proven true so far). She deeply empathized with her in secret and eventually swore to keep her safe when she had finally spoken to her and got entangled in the mess known as Opal with her.

Pearl should’ve been enough for her to trust Rose.

But does Pearl know how much Pink Diamond meant to Amethyst or would even care? She had served Chalcedony prior to them meeting and spent her entire life underneath Blue Diamond’s rule. As much Amethyst knows, Pearl probably has never even met Pink Diamond or wasn’t even that phased by her death. 

Pearl was the only one Amethyst was certain she could trust, the only one Amethyst saw as worthy enough to fight for after Pink Diamond died, the one she bonded with as Opal . . . . But she could never understand Amethyst’s pain. She trusted that murderer of Quartz wholeheartedly and didn’t even realize how much grief Amethyst was in to know what their hallucinations meant.

So as far as Amethyst knew, she was completely alone.

“I just wanted to help her, to reach out to her, but she kept screaming at me, saying that I wouldn’t understand,” Pearl stuttered as she gulped back the tears that were streaming down her face. 

She felt terribly weak and vulnerable as Rose Quartz listened to her sobs with Bismuth beside her. While their gazes were definitely filled with sympathy, Pearl couldn’t help but their pity was also patronizing, especially since a Pearl on her own must’ve been a rare occasion for them.

“Who knows what she must feel right now,” Rose Quartz replied softly, but the response felt unsatisfactory to Pearl; she was expecting something less vague-sounding and more encouraging.

“You’re saying that she’s mostly sobbing over Pink Diamond, right?” Bismuth asked.

Pearl nodded sadly. She desperately wanted to Amethyst to open to her about her grief and thought that being bonded together as Opal should’ve led to that, but apparently, 

Amethyst insisted that even after everything they’ve been through together, she couldn’t understand the pain she was going through.

She flashbacked to the hallucination Opal had, how right when the arrow she shot split into several dazzling rays of explosive light, the target transformed into Pink Diamond right before her eyes and the fallen Gem ended up perishing once again by Opal’s hands. Panic overtook both Pearl and Amethyst and they split apart immediately afterwards.

She remembered Amethyst’s burst of panic and grief, screaming out in confusion before her bond to Pearl shattered. She remembered desperately trying to reach out to her but then being pushed away. 

A fresh stream of tears flowed down Pearl’s face again. She thought that she finally had met someone who she could help without fail and be able to protect successfully, but as it turns out, she didn’t know Amethyst as well as she thought she did. She wanted to hit herself on the head for thinking that: after all, they’ve only acknowledged each other for a couple of cycles at the most. What a fool she had been for thinking that she could help someone so drastically different from her.

“I thought that seeing such a great embodiment of inter-Gem bonding would’ve been able to stay together longer,” Rose whispered to herself. “I guess I didn’t consider how little the two of you knew each other.”

“Hey, all she has to do is realize that being a Crystal Gem isn’t all about spreading ideals of freedom and individuality, there are grimmer things we have to do in order to achieve our goals,” Bismuth proclaimed, not at all fazed the amount of tears that Pearl had shed. “I’ve accepted that a long time ago and you should embrace that if you want to be an effective rebel.”

“I don’t think it’s just about shattering Gems in general,” Pearl said hoarsely, the sob in her voice still apparent. “She had a great personal connection to Pink Diamond. I don’t think any of us would understand her pain.”

“But you’ve shared the same form as her once,” Rose interjected. “You must have experienced some sort of semblance of her memory or personal emotions. Opal should’ve connected you in a deep way, don’t you think?”

Pearl hugged her knees to her chest. “Perhaps this is a sign that what we formed must’ve been a mistake.”


	8. A Flicker of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new recruit wishes to help Rose with Opal's problem . . .

Rose had a fondness for the strange and peculiar, and she knew that undoubtedly throughout her entire life. Anything that was considered unexplainable by Homeworld’s standards became Rose’s new trinket to study. Of course, when Pink Diamond was still alive, this set her apart from other Gems of her kind, but her once-beloved matriarch encouraged her to explore and understand the oddities Homeworld decided to discard.

The fond memories Rose had of her were once again pushed to the back of her mind; the leader of a revolution cannot be clouded by guilt or regret. What’s done was done and Rose can never forget that.

Pink Diamond was just like all the others. Her past self didn’t realize that. But who she was now sharply aware. 

She wasn’t as outwardly disdainful as her sisters were, but it was undoubtedly clear that Pink Diamond had no sympathy for species outside of Gem-kind. Everything she said to Rose was simply to keep her loyal to her. Deep down inside, she must’ve been secretly disgusted with her.

Well, she won’t have to worry about that anymore. Now there was no one to hold Rose back from spreading her ideals. There was no one to drag her back into the shadows and feed her commands. There was no one to keep her mouth shut this time.

If only she could tell that to Amethyst.

It’s honestly been difficult to deal with Pearl and Amethyst while they were separated. Pearl refused to do anything until she finds a way to reconcile with Amethyst while the purple Gem wanted nothing to do with her. And that ended up in a lot of tears.

Rose eventually learned that even though Opal was comprised of their combined traits, Pearl and Amethyst functioned differently than her. Opal was often calm yet a bit scatterbrained at times; Pearl ended up having panic attacks over the smallest of details, Amethyst lashed out in anger a lot, especially at Rose. It was like meeting two complete strangers who had a faint connection with her lost friend.

Pearl, at least, didn’t have any animosity towards Rose. In fact, she was perfectly content with following any order Rose gave her, regressing back into harmful habits after being torn apart from Amethyst. But, thankfully, it also meant Rose’s mere presence helped calm the nervous wreck of a Pearl down. Apparently, Amethyst’s bolder traits helped balanced out Pearl’s meek and tense personality.

Amethyst reluctantly stayed with the Crystal Gems, but only because she knew there was nowhere else to go, with the planet either swarming with Homeworld Gems or overflowing with unfamiliar and potentially dangerous wilderness. There was a war brewing and Amethyst had to force herself to pick a side, preferably one that wasn’t out for her gem. But it was a very forced decision, at the most.

“I don’t want to bother with your promises of ‘freedom’ and ‘harmony,’” she muttered with a poisonous glare. “Especially if it’s from the mouth of a murderer, and there’s definitely no way I’m risking my life for her, either. I don’t intend of giving myself the title of a Crystal Gem. Think of me of a refugee and nothing more. I’m not fighting for anyone but myself here.”

With those words, most of the Crystal Gems turned away from her, disgusted at how she was living off of them for safety and without any intentions to fight for their cause. Amethyst shrugged off the isolations like she was used to it, and perhaps she was. But some Gems, like Bismuth, wanted to drill a message into her for saying such things.

“What kind of warrior are you if you’re not going to participate in a war?” the multicolored Gem seethed. “So that’s it then? Because of your stupid vendetta for someone you hardly knew, you plan on being absolutely useless, just living off of us for protection? I would throw you out of here for Blue Diamond to deal with if it wasn’t for Pearl insisting to keep you alive!”

“Why should I care about how any of you think of me anyways?” Amethyst snapped back. “How can I trust any of you when you’re all following a murderer?”

“Well, shattering Pink Diamond might have been the best thing Rose has ever done for us, and you’re just blind to what good has happened since then,” Bismuth said proudly.

“Oh, like plunge the entire Earth into a war and left millions of Gems without a leader?” the purple Gem retorted with glittering malice in her eyes. “You’re all insane if you think you should be proud of that. You’re lucky I can’t fight you right here.”

“Good, because if you did,” Bismuth snarled, pushing the smaller Gem to the ground. “I wouldn’t hesitate to shatter you.”

Amethyst scowled and narrowed her eyes in response, walking away in a huff.

“There’s no need to start a fight amongst ourselves while our enemies are brandishing their weapons,” Rose scolded Bismuth after the entire ordeal. “We want Amethyst to be on our side, right?”

“If she continues to defend the Diamond who tried to claim this planet, then I don’t see the point of having her walk around our base and living off of us,” Bismuth spat out spitefully. “Stars, if it wasn’t for Pearl . . .”

“Please don’t say any ill words towards Amethyst for the time being,” Rose said soothingly, placing her hands firmly on Bismuth’s shoulders. “We can’t have Pearl breaking down on us anytime soon.”

“Fine,” Bismuth finally responded after a moment of muffled groans behind clenched teeth.

The atmosphere grew more and tenser as Pearl and Amethyst continued to fight. The once-lovers would suddenly get into a screaming match in the middle of the Temple and send everyone else around them into a hurry to run away. Their arguments usually ended with Pearl breaking down into sobs and Amethyst running away with her fists clenched at her sides and her teeth grinding into her lip to prevent herself from crying. It was absolutely heartbreaking to watch, seeing how they used to be bonded together so tightly.

“All we have to do is fuse again,” Pearl muttered to herself in an attempt to stop quivering with anxiety. “Then I’ll be able to feel what’s plaguing her mind and help her heal. But she won’t let me in.”

Cycles stretched on and on and still no progress on getting Amethyst and Pearl to reconcile. Some Gems lost patience a long time ago (namely Bismuth) and began to avoid Pearl and Amethyst, giving up hope that Opal will return to them. Rose was the only one left who still believed. She soothed Pearl from her nervous breakdowns and assured her that she can be useful. She carefully avoided Amethyst because usually her mere presence set off the purple Gem’s temper but she sometimes left small gifts scattered around for her, to beg for forgiveness. It was a pathetic attempt however, seeing how easily the Quartz discarded them.

After all, murder was murder. There was no forgiveness left in Amethyst’s heart for all Rose knew.

For a while, Rose felt so alone on trying to bring Opal back. No one was around to help and some of the Crystal Gems complained that they should discard Pearl and Amethyst if one insists on being a nuisance and the other keeps trying to defend her. But Rose swore to herself to never discard a Gem the way the Diamond Authority did; Gems were no matter what, all people and deserved to treated that way. But sometimes, Rose wondered if that was the best option at this point.

Right when she at the verge of giving up entirely, a new Crystal Gem recruit emerged, once lived under Blue Diamond’s rule but has defected for one purpose and one purpose only. She went to Rose directly and begged to help her with Pearl and Amethyst.

“Opal was the one thing that defied the path of fate,” Sapphire explained as she took Rose’s hand delicately in hers. “I want to be able to see such a visionary again.”


	9. Finding the Bond Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just because something is incomprehensible doesn't mean it's unhealthy . . .

Sapphire had to admit, she had very little experience when it came to interacting with others.

So much of her time was spent alone in her private reflection chambers, envisioning the future with the only sound to ever interrupt her was the light trickling of the fountains surrounding her. And even when her presence was requested at gatherings, Sapphire was simply a naturally introverted Gem. Many other Gems were either too awestruck by her rarity and status that they never dared skirt fifteen feet within her radius or were too discomforted by her less-than-expressive voice or enigmatic words that forming a conversation would predictably be very one-sided.

Nonetheless, Sapphire hardly knew what it meant to have friends. Worse, she didn’t know what it was like to comfort someone who was in pain.

But things were different now.

She was in a place where no Gem, of any type of form, would be afraid to approach her: no boundaries, no class system, and no restrictions. Of course, Sapphire had to get used to it at first. It was alarming when Bismuth approached you and strike up a conversation about types of swords when all the Bismuths you knew prior silently worshipped you from afar. But luckily, Sapphire never understood the bigotry other Gems of her ranking spoke of; no matter what kind of Gem you spoke to, they all had the same capabilities when looking at it from the view of a seer. She had gotten used to it just fine.

But the real challenge trying to comfort a Crystal Gem who hardly considered herself a Crystal Gem . . . but Sapphire was determined to try.

* * *

“Who’s there?” Amethyst cried out as her eyes darted around her surroundings. She was cloaked in the shadows of the strange foliage of the Earth’s wilderness, which bleakly reminded her of the time she spent with Pearl in Earth’s forests.

“I’m not Rose, you know,” a gentle voice responded, not fazed by Amethyst’s hysterical voice.

Amethyst blanched for a second before retreating further into her hiding spot underneath a thick willow tree, finding delicate bark pressing against her back as she inched backwards.

“H-how did you know I didn’t want to see Rose?” she stuttered, hating the nervousness in her voice.

“It was a predictable response,” the voice flatly replied, a slightly smug undertone apparent.

Amethyst gritted her teeth. She didn’t have time for this. Whoever this Gem was, she didn’t like her, judging by her monotonous but arrogant voice and how she predicted what Amethyst was going to say. She knew that was incredibly shallow to think about but the one thing she wanted from the world was the chance to be alone and for some reason, the world refused to give her that.

“What other words I’ll say can you predict?” the purple Gem coldly mocked.

“I can predict that you wish desperately to be alone but deep down, that’s certainly not what you truly desire,” the voice replied without a moment to hesitate, taking Amethyst’s words like some kind of challenge. “I can predict that you also wish for someone to speak to you about Pink Diamond, someone who isn’t biased by the Crystal Gems’ decree of war, nor anyone who never met her. I also know that what you want the most is Pearl to be back in your arms but you refuse to admit it and push her away at any possible chance in the future.”

Amethyst’s jaw simply dropped and it took a few moments to simply shake off the surprise and speak again. “What are you, a mind reader?”

“No,” the voice replied tersely and suddenly, a pair of gloved hands pushed through the curtain of green leaves that shielded Amethyst from the rest of the world and pried them apart, revealing a blue-skinned face that was half-covered by a layer of frost-colored tresses. “I’m a Sapphire.”

She was a dainty Gem, about the same size as Amethyst but was clearly made to be that way unlike the defective Quartz.

Amethyst quickly recognized her.

“It’s you!” she shrieked, so surprised that her head slammed against the delicate tree trunk behind her, giving her a sharp ache in the back of her head and a slight dent in the tree. She winced but hissed through her clenched teeth to finish her sentence. “You were the Sapphire from the Arena! You saw Pearl and I first fuse!”

“Don’t be alarmed,” Sapphire spoke in a chillingly calm voice that made Amethyst’s hair stand on end rather than soothing her. “I mean no harm. In fact, I have recently defected from Blue Diamond’s control and have sought out an audience with the Crystal Gems.”

“W-why would you do that?” Amethyst cried, finding the courage to unfurl her legs away from her chest, determined to not humiliate herself in front of a prestigious Sapphire. But then again, she might’ve already failed to impress her with her dwarf-like size. “You’re a Sapphire—and a perfect one at that, too! They give you everything you could possibly want back on Homeworld and best of all, no one ever has the authority to tease or doubt you. Why did you have to do all of that? And what are you doing here trying to talk to me? I set your entire predicted timeline off the right course and it’s because of me the war is still ensuing. Just tell me why . . . why would someone like you care about someone like me?”

Sapphire’s expression softened—or least what Amethyst could discern from what parts of her face weren’t cloaked by hair—and she gently replied, “Because of what I saw from Opal. That’s what the fusion was called, right?”

Amethyst nodded in awe. Just what did Sapphire want from seeing something as abominable as Opal? Shouldn’t she hate her because she proved her power could be doubtful at times?

“When I first saw Opal, it was the first time in my life that I saw something that sparked my curiosity,” the blue seer explained. “You could understand that being a Gem with all the foreknowledge of everything accountable can be a rather monotonous life to lead. Nothing surprises you anymore, nothing fascinates you anymore; there’s almost no point in doing anything when you can see the exact outcome. But Opal was different. And she certainly wasn’t different in a terrible way like all of Homeworld thinks—no, she was different in a beautiful way. I couldn’t understand why Blue Diamond thought of you as such a blemish. To me, what you created with Pearl was the most spectacular thing I ever saw. I would do anything to see her again.”

“Well, you came too late then,” Amethyst deadpanned with a hint of melancholy in her voice. “I don’t Pearl and I can ever face each other again.”

“I know that,” Sapphire responded. “Rose has informed of your situation.”

Amethyst’s fists clenched together and her teeth gritted and right when she was almost certain she liked Sapphire’s company. “Don’t ever say her name in front of me again. I just can’t deal with being on the same side as a murderer.”

“But didn’t that murderer help form the one faction that accepted your relationship with Pearl, which is something that would’ve been absolutely forbidden anywhere else?” Sapphire interjected harshly. “How do you know that Pink Diamond would’ve tolerated Opal, or you being intimate with Pearl in general? She could’ve taken Blue Diamond’s side for all you know. She kept you from getting shattered when you first emerged but she could’ve let you get shattered if she knew what you did with Pearl. After all, you admit that you never knew her personally, right?”

Amethyst froze, caught in Sapphire’s perfect trap. She really didn’t know, did she? Her teeth dug into her bottom lip in shame. How could a complete stranger like Sapphire figure out all of her emotional issues simply by taking a peek into the future?

“What do you treasure more, Amethyst?” the blue Gem asked bluntly with no mercy. “Your loyalty to a Gem you hardly knew or the one Gem who loved and will love you unconditionally, with whom you created something unbelievable and extraordinary?”

Silence overtook them before Amethyst answered. “I . . . I love Pearl . . . who loves me . . . which is something I didn’t know was possible before,” Amethyst whispered, with tears streaming down her cheeks. “And I miss being Opal . . . she was strong and beautiful and everything I can’t ever be right now as myself . . . and Rose . . . I don’t know if I really can forgive her instantly . . . after what she did . . . but I want to make Pearl happy . . . and I want to be happy myself . . . I really can’t handle being alone far too well, no matter how many times I deny it . . .”

Amethyst’s lips curled up into a genuine smile and she broke out in laughter, interjected by the occasional sniffle and sob that came from the still-falling tears that cascaded over her face. “Okay . . . you’re right, Sapphire,” Amethyst sobbed. “I can’t live like this any further. I need Pearl again, now more than anything.”

Sapphire smiled back, which caught the purple Gem off guard but it was a very pleasant surprise to see. “Good, now, let us find Pearl and solve all of this.”

* * *

Being cut off from Pearl for so long made it almost a shock to see her again. She certainly didn’t change at all, still possessing her feathery hair, gauzy dress, and timid stance that boasted meekness and fragility, but she still appeared beautiful nonetheless to Amethyst.

“Please don’t tell me you’re to yell at me again, are you?” Pearl squeaked, flinching once she was near her former lover.

Amethyst sighed and said, “No, and I’m sorry for everything I said to you before. I wasn’t thinking straight and I was too caught up in all the grief. I just didn’t understand how Opal saw Pink Diamond when we swore she was gone.”

“I didn’t understand that either,” Pearl admitted bashfully, flushing a deep blue color that Amethyst couldn’t help but admire. Silence passed before she added, “Maybe that’s a sign that Opal isn’t something healthy for both of us . . .”

“No,” Sapphire interjected, almost furiously.

The words finally reminded both Pearl and Amethyst that the blue Gem was still in their presence. It was hard to remember her being there now that they are finally reunited.

“Just because Opal is something hard to comprehend doesn’t mean she is something unhealthy. I think I have an idea of what to do but I need Opal to be here again.”

“Um . . . are you okay if we . . .” Amethyst began awkwardly.

“I still don’t know why you’re so hesitant to ask,” Pearl replied cheerfully, wiping away the tears that formed at the edges of her eyes.

A sweep of their feet, a brilliant flash of light, and a gentle sigh afterwards, Opal appeared in all her glory, just as Sapphire remembered her. It actually took a lot of composure for the blue Gem to not dissipate her form right then and there.

“I’m afraid that I might fall apart again,” the fusion admitted fearfully as she sat down cross-legged in front of the Gem her components simultaneously recognized as Sapphire. “What happened in the Arena . . . was not a good experience.”

“Don’t worry,” Sapphire reassured the fusion, clasping her hands in her lap and guiding Opal to do the same. “I advise you to do what I do when my visions of the future overwhelm me. Simply sit and breathe and focus on nothing else.”

“But that sounds so simple . . .” Opal started.

“Exactly,” Sapphire interjected with a smile. “It’s simple, so that means you can do it. Just breath and focus on my voice.”

“Okay,” Opal responded and she did as she was told which was a bit difficult when there were screeching voices in her head and nonsense thoughts bubbling all around her. “I’m breathing . . . I’m fine . . . what do I do now?”

“Close your eyes,” Sapphire instructed as darkness overtook Opal’s vision. “Now Opal . . . here comes a thought . . .”


	10. I'm Here, I'm Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We won't have to be alone anymore . . . you have me.

Wherever Opal was now, she certainly wasn’t with Sapphire in the forest anymore.

Everything around her was cloaked in misty blue, completely vacant and empty for miles and miles, absolutely nothing but silence and an endless stretch of blue surrounding them.

“Where am I?” Opal cried out, her voice echoing a bit in the empty void. Slight panic began to rise inside her; there was something about the vast emptiness that frightened her, like somehow, this strange void became her new home and she’ll never escape.

“Breathe, Opal,” Sapphire’s calm voice responded, finally giving Opal some relief, but then the fusion started to panic again when she realized that Sapphire, despite her voice being present, was nowhere to be seen.

“Where did I go? Where are you? Am I trapped somewhere? Is there a way out?” Opal frantically asked.

“You’re still in front of me,” Sapphire said bluntly.

“That’s impossible,” Opal cried. “I can’t see you at all!”

“I’ve never actually seen this before, but I bet this a part of your experience as a fusion. I cannot explain this and neither can you,” the seer explained as Opal felt invisible warmth on her hands. It was chilling to hear Sapphire’s voice but not have her anywhere in Opal’s field of vision for miles, especially when there’s nothing surrounding her but vacant emptiness.

“We’re still in the forest but you seem to be in an entirely different place than me. Tell me what you see, so I calculate what this means.” “Um, I can’t see anything but emptiness for miles and miles—oh my goodness!”

“What is it?” “I think that’s—that’s Amethyst and Pearl!”

And indeed, far in the distance, was Amethyst and Pearl sitting together, the white Gem trying desperately to reach out to her beloved, but the purple Gem being too preoccupied with her grief.

“I believe this is where your components are connected together and where they maintain the bond that keeps you alive and existing,” Sapphire guessed. “Think of this as your deep core, the thing that keeps you Opal instead of Pearl and Amethyst. Your components are trying to stabilize themselves so you can exist.”

“I—I’ve been here before,” Opal suddenly cried. “This was where I was whenever I began to fall apart, where I heard Pearl and Amethyst fight.”

“I’m afraid I cannot reach you,” Sapphire replied sadly. “I’m trying to hold onto you but I can’t seem enter the space where you are right now. I’m still here in the physical world. This must be because I’m a single component Gem.”

“Sapphire, what am I supposed to do here?” Opal asked tentatively, watching her components interact without her presence made aware. Apparently, to them, she’s invisible.

“I honestly don’t know,” the seer admitted. “But all you have to do is make yourself stable enough for Amethyst and Pearl to work out their issues.”

“Okay,” Opal whispered anxiously, hoping that she won’t have to feel the pain of splitting apart again. She certainly didn’t want to do it front of Sapphire, the one who’s been so anxious to finally meet them.

“Amethyst, please, you have to understand,” Pearl pleaded as Amethyst turns away from her.“Rose is the only person we can turn to during this time of war . . . we have nowhere else to go . . . there is no one else who is as accepting of us, of Opal—“

“But what else do I have to watch her do once this war begins to escalate? What if she starts destroying everything I once held dear to me? Am I supposed to keep my mouth shut all for your sake?”

“Both Homeworld and the Crystal Gems have done terrible things to fight for what they want to protect. But Rose promises to fight for us and our freedom to be together, which is something Homeworld can never allow!”

“But do you really believe in everything else she preaches? Do you really love Earth and wish for everything on it, everything both beautiful and frightening, to be protected? Do we even know anything about this planet we’re fighting on? How can we call ourselves Crystal Gems if all we want is to stay together without being scorned, not even knowing anything else about what the Rebellion fights for? And how can I call myself a Crystal Gem when I’m mourning the death of one of the enemies?”

Every time Pearl and Amethyst exchange words, butterflies begin to appear. One by one, seemingly materializing out of nowhere, they swarm around the two Gems, their flapping wings sounding suspiciously like erratic heartbeats as they fluttered in the cold vacant air around them.

“What are these? Are these supposed to be butterflies?” Amethyst whispered.

Pearl’s eyes widened as butterflies began to cling to her skin, almost like a stain of dirt. She frantically begins to shoo them off of her, their touch feeling like cold pricks of ice, but they stubbornly swarm around her. The white Gem began to shriek and squeal as they began to provoke her by pulling her hair and grabbing her clothes, her erratic breathing almost collapsing into a panic attack.

“Pearl, don’t worry, I’m right here!” Amethyst began to call out but then a horde of shimmering white wings blocked her from seeing her lover, forming a pearly white barrier between them.

Suddenly, various images began to materialize onto the surface of the butterflies’ wings, showing a wretched and grieving Amethyst lashing out at anyone who wanted to help her, including the Gem she grew to trust the most.

Guilt started to form in Amethyst’s core.

_Was that how angry I was?_

_I didn’t mean to hurt anyone like that. It just happened and—wow, how I could do that to Pearl; she’s supposed to be the Gem I love and I ended up hurting her like that._

_I don’t deserve her, do I?_

Amethyst frantically brushed off the harmful thoughts. She needed to get through to Pearl. She could hear her sobbing on the other side of the barrier. All she needed to do was reach through this wall of butterflies . . . She suddenly felt a cold, smooth touch on her skin. The butterflies were beginning to cling to her as well, trying to distract her, to harm her, fill her up with these harsh thoughts.

Amethyst continued to brush off the luminescent insects but they kept surrounding her on all angles, blocking her and suffocating her. She couldn’t believe she was being bombarded _with butterflies, of all things,_ and that they were _winning_.

_How are you still here?_

_Why are you still here?_

_You were destined to be disposed of in some way. You were only spared by a Gem you hardly even knew. You don’t deserve Pearl, you never did._

_You are malformed, defective, simply shameful, and she is absolutely beautiful and dainty, perfect in all the things you never can be._

_If it wasn’t for you, she would’ve still be pure and accepted by Homeworld, living a life she is comfortable and familiar with, with a Gem who is far more prestigious than you could ever hope to be._

“Amethyst, where are you?” Pearl shrieked hysterically. She was surrounded by all these things, all these horrible suffocating things, things that cloud her mind and make her hate herself more than she knew was possible.

Images of her former master began to appear on the butterflies’ wings. Her cruel, merciless expression as she chastises her Pearl for being shaky, anxious, and clumsy unlike all the other Gems of her kind. Her constant threats of replacing her, of harvesting her, if she didn’t be useful; Chalcedony’s voice continued to ring in Pearl’s head, only growing louder and louder the more Pearls sobbed for her to stop.

_What makes you think you have the liberty to speak without me ordering you to?_

_You are my property; you are made to submit to my command! Without me, you wouldn’t even exist! Stop staring at the other Quartz! Can’t you see she’s defective? Are you even able to tell the difference?_

_The more you mess up, the more I wish I could afford to replace you._

“Pearl, I’m right here!” she heard Amethyst shriek, and just when Pearl was about to collapse under the pressure, a purple-tinted hand reached out towards the helpless Gem and clutched onto hers throughout the torrent of swarming butterflies.

_Amethyst, I’m scared._

_I’m scared, too._

_I have no idea what’s going on. I thought being able to be Opal was easy but it turns out that it’s not. No matter what we do, our thoughts stray away from each other, and even if we remain together, we end up feeling alone._

_No, I won’t let you be alone in all of this. I hate myself sometimes, too. I wonder about how useless I end up being to those I want to protect. I feel as if I’m a low-class Pearl compared to all the others. We’re the same, Amethyst, no matter what Homeworld says. And if you hate yourself, then I’ll let you know how much I hate myself. We can comfort each other after that. We won’t have to be alone anymore._

The butterflies began to dissipate, one by one, until their vision cleared and Pearl and Amethyst could see each other perfectly, tears running down their face and broken smiles on their faces. The two Gems embraced in the void, sobbing together and clutching each other tightly.

“What do you two think you’re doing?” a voice snapped. Both Amethyst and Pearl looked up to see a towering Gem standing before them, spikes of pink hair protruding from her head and a suit of bright magenta standing out amongst all the blueness of the void.

Just how was Pink Diamond here?

“This sort of act is forbidden on Homeworld!” the matriarch continued to shriek, completely disgusted and outraged. “Do you believe Pearls are capable of empathy, Amethyst? They’re not, I tell you! They’re built to entertain and decorate and you’re defiling one by clutching onto her like that! And worse, she does not belong to you! You are committing treason by soiling one of your superiors’ Pearls, outright stealing her, even!”

“Why are you talking to Pearl like that?” Amethyst gasped, the light in her eyes dying little by little when she realized that this was her former superior speaking, talking about her beloved Pearl like she was an object.

“Because that’s how she’s meant to be spoken to!” Pink Diamond answered matter-of-factly. “Can’t you see she has no ability to feel shame for herself? We can say anything about her and she won’t even be affected.”

“That’s not true!” Amethyst snapped. “Pearl is a Gem just like you and I!”

“She is no Gem at all,” Pink Diamond laughed harshly. “She is made to take orders and make herself useful to true Gems like us. You can find a million more of her kind anywhere in the Gem Empire!”

“SHUT UP!” Amethyst shouted, frightening both Pink Diamond and Pearl, who opened her mouth to protest against her lover defending her but no words were able to escape her throat.

“What did you say?” the resurrected Gem said coldly, taking a step towards Amethyst and Pearl before completely snapping. “Do you know how lucky you are to be standing before me? I could’ve let you be harvested several years ago if it wasn’t for my reluctant mercy! Who do you think you are to defy me like this?”

“I AM A CRYSTAL GEM!” Amethyst shouted, taking Pink Diamond aback.

“Just why would you side with the Gem who murdered me?” the pink Gem whispered, her voice like ice.

“Because she was right to get rid of you,” Amethyst cried defiantly, no longer seeing the leader she once admired in the Gem before her. “I can’t understand the extreme measure she took but I can’t believe it took me so long to realize she was right to say that you were like all the other Diamonds. You only spared me because you needed troops to fight Rose Quartz. If you were there to see me fuse with Pearl, you would’ve despised Opal as much as Blue Diamond did! But that doesn’t bother me anymore: I don’t need your approval if I have Pearl’s love with me!”

Pink Diamond’s eyes widened with outrage and immediately, she dissolved into a swarm of white butterflies, which swirled around in the air like a hurricane before soaring upwards to create a dazzling display of shimmering white in the endless blue sky above them.

“They’re not hurting us anymore,” Pearl whispered as she clutched onto Amethyst tighter.

“And we won’t ever have to worry about them hurting us anymore,” Amethyst replied warmly, a genuine smile on her face. “Not as long as we have each other.”


	11. Starting a Revolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There really should be more fusions than just Opal . . . it would be more fun that way.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” Rose cried tearfully as she tightly embraced Opal, almost getting entangled in her double amount of arms. “When I realized how my actions actually affected Amethyst, I began to blame myself for what you went through, and I know that that’s foolish of me but I understand if you don’t see me as the rightful leader of this Rebellion—“

“It’s okay,” Opal reassured the rambling Gem, gently pushing her away and smiling softly. “I’m perfectly in balance now after Sapphire helped me. And I understand what you did now.”

“Y-you do?” Rose blurted out in surprise. “I know it was a dreadful thing to do and there’s not a moment that passes where I don’t think about it, but it was something that needed to be done for our cause, even if it goes against my philosophy and everything—“

“It’s true that Pink Diamond wouldn’t accept me if she were alive right now, right?” Opal interrupted her, a steely look in her eyes.

Rose tentatively nodded after a moment of hesitation. “No matter how I reasoned with her, she couldn’t accept the ideals of the Crystal Gems. She even scorned the idea that life outside of the Gem race was worth protecting. She certainly valued Gems, but always had a traditional way of thinking, never accepting anything new or different. She even told me that the way the Diamond Authority ran things was already efficient enough and needed no changes. She would most likely not understand how beautiful you were.”

Opal sighed solemnly. “That’s okay with me. Amethyst—and I—have certainly moved on. I don’t need to dwell on the past anymore. I have a whole future waiting in front of me. On a planet I’m excited to learn about and with many Gems I’m eager to teach about fusion.”

“Hey Opal, we’re gonna need your help!” Bismuth’s familiar voice shouted out in the distance.

“We’re coming!” Opal called out in reply and she and Rose arrived to the scene to see both Ruby and Sapphire sprawled on the floor; the red soldier groaning in frustration, literally fuming, and the seer simply frowning in disappointment.

“I predicted that that attempt would fail but I got so excited about the chance to fuse, I disregarded the odds,” Sapphire muttered forlornly, genuine sadness showing through the cracks of her stoic façade.

“Ugh, and you had to make me go through with it!” Ruby cried in outrage, leaping back up onto her feet so she can rant to Sapphire, who still didn’t bother to get up. “Why can’t you try Bismuth or something else you’re more compatible with? Force me to go through this with you again and I’ll punch you so hard your physical form will dissipate!”

“You wouldn’t do that,” Sapphire scorned the other Gem flatly, lifting herself gently into the air so she can stand up again. “Most of the threats you’ve thrown my way are complete lies. You only do so to look like you have control over me.”

Ruby growled as the air around her grew steadily warmer and warmer. “Well, here in the Crystal Gems, there’s absolutely no one who tells me I’m beneath them, to say that I’m just made to serve and die! I used to protect Gems as high as you and you know how they paid me in return? By abandoning me after retreating from a battle because apparently I wasn’t important to them! As long as you’re with us, you have no right to say that I’m worthless!”

“I would never call you or any Gem worthless,” Sapphire seethed. “You take out your frustration on elite Gems by threatening me and saying I don’t belong here! Not only is that petty, it also disregards Rose’s decree of equality amongst Gems! I did absolutely nothing to you and you should treat me that way!”

“No wonder the two of you can’t fuse,” Opal interjected before the argument escalated, especially since the floor beneath Ruby and Sapphire was already both singed and coated with a layer of frost, “You both do nothing but clash with each other.”

“Perhaps that’s a sign that fusing would an unwise choice,” Sapphire mused for a moment.

“For someone with future vision, I can’t believe it took you that long to figure that out,” Ruby mumbled underneath her breath.

“No,” Opal intoned with absolute seriousness in her voice. “That just means that whoever would be created from your fusion would be even more compelling.”

“But what’s keeping you two from forming a bond?” Rose asked softly.

“Both of you need to let go of your pride and let each other into your thoughts,” Opal advised them, clapping all four of her hands together excitedly. “What makes a fusion strong isn’t the sum of the components’ power but the strength of the bond between the components; complete harmony is what makes fusions last long.”

“That sounds . . . intimate,” Rose remarked with absolute awe in her eyes.

“And kinda cheesy,” Bismuth added. “Do you really think we have all the time in the world? These two have been doing nothing but fight with each other.”

“Hey, I’ve fused before plenty of times,” Ruby cried out indignantly. “I didn’t need to think about all of that. All I needed to do was latch onto my partners and hold on for the fight.”

“That’s how Homeworld wanted you to see fusion,” Opal corrected her. “And when you compare me to how Homeworld fusions act, do you see any similarities?”

“No,” Ruby muttered bashfully.

“Good, glad you know the difference,” Opal said with a smile.

“But do you really think that Sapphire and I are compatible enough for this?” Ruby blurted out. “I’m all hyper and all over the place, she’s silent and all broody or something, I used to be a foot soldier and she used to be a high-and-mighty noble, and I’ve probably fused a million times while she’s a—um, well . . .”

“Are you actually judging me for having never fused before?” Sapphire said softly, but with a sharp expression on her usually expressionless face.

“You act like everything I say towards you is a potential insult,” Ruby growled.

“Because it’s usually is.”

“Well, can you blame me?”

“You see, this is what is dividing you apart,” Opal interjected. “And for fusion, you need to combine together.” She intertwined her fingers for a visual effect.

“Well, what do you suggest we do to fix it?” Sapphire asked.

“I know it’s hard to let go of your pride but it’s what you have to do in order to break down all the barriers in between you,” the fusion explained. “Ruby, it is indeed really petty for you to hold a grudge against Sapphire for something she wasn’t even involved in. Sapphire, you need to open yourself up to Ruby, even though you know she’s a stranger who’s been giving you a tough time so far.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t help but see the elite Gems who disposed of me like I was nothing to them whenever I look at her!” Ruby fumed.

“I know what happened to you was absolutely terrible and I’m sorry if Gems of my kind were involved in that,” Sapphire said. “But I swear that if you insist that you are different from most Rubies, then you would believe me when I say I’m different from most elites!”

“Yeah, and besides,” Bismuth chirped in, “even if she’s an Upper Crust, she’s an Upper Crust who realized that the Crystal Gems are the ones who fight for justice and freedom, no matter what the cost! The really bad ones are the ones who chose to oppose us and our goal!”

“. . . Thank you, Bismuth,” Sapphire said tentatively, like it took a moment to realize that that was a compliment. 

“Well, then I’m sorry!” Ruby blurted out, the air around her finally releasing its heat. “But didn’t Opal say you have to let go of your pride, too?”

“Okay, fine,” Sapphire sighed in defeat. “There’s no longer any reason for me to lash out against you now that you’ve apologized and I’m sorry for anything I could’ve said prior to this that had offended you. I just want to be able experience the phenomena Opal had discovered, which was the first thing that managed to spark my curiosity in a long time, and I believe you are the perfect candidate.”

“Is it because we’re the same height as each other?” Ruby asked awkwardly, a sudden blush on her face.

“Perhaps, even if I’m a little taller,” Sapphire giggled. “But I believe we should still see what would come out of this.”

“Can’t your future vision just tell you?” Ruby cried.

“No, because for the first time, my future vision cannot provide me with whom our fusion would create,” Sapphire mused. “The path of fate dictates that we would fail every time.”

“Then what was the point of trying in the first place?” Ruby almost burst into flames at the outrage she was feeling.

“Because the path of fate also dictates Opal should’ve never formed in the first place,” Sapphire explained wistfully. “It also said that I would’ve never become accepted as a Crystal Gem. It also said that Blue Diamond should’ve ended this war several weeks ago. And look where we are now.”

“Wow, so even if fate tells us we can’t, we really do have the power to do anything,” Ruby gasped.

The seer nodded and stretched out her hand. “Let us prove fate wrong again.”

Opal almost exhausted herself trying to get Sapphire and Ruby to synchronize together correctly. Ruby went into rage mode a couple of times but always eventually tried again and Sapphire was sometimes a bit disagreeable but her future vision reminded her that she didn’t have time to complain if she wanted the outcome she desired.

Finally, it happened.

Like Opal, the fusion wasn’t exactly comprehensible at first. Her hair was splashed bright pink and blue and her clothes were perhaps a mismatched cross of a soldier uniform and a ball gown. She even only possessed one boot on one foot!

But despite it all, she was beautiful. 

She was clumsy, she was confused, and she definitely could’ve made a Gem think they’ve succumbed to hallucinations if one saw her.

But she was beautiful. Both Opal and Rose would agree.

“What’s your name?” Rose asked softly as she grabbed onto the new fusion’s hands to keep her from falling on her face.

“G-Garnet,” the multicolored Gem muttered. “How do I know that? Who am I? Who are you?”

“My name is Opal,” her fellow fusion responded with a gleeful smile, placing a hand on her shoulder. “And I’m a fusion just like you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Once I get through "The Answer" arc, I will begin writing about the harmful thoughts that nearly cause Opal to hallucinate and fall apart, just like Garnet showed in "Mindful Education." Will involve Opal defusing and Pearl and Amethyst being forced to face their inner demons.


End file.
